Left Out
You weren't aware there was a Mystery Hunt team made entirely of speakerphones, but that appears to be true based on the switchboard room, in which a circle of intercoms is clustered on the floor, wired to a generator.
"Left Out hunts every year as a primarily remote team," Stopheles explains, "and they're even more remote now. The people on the other ends of those phones are hovering in empty space, ten miles in every direction from anything but void."
"Sir, I have to interject on this issue. Is isolation really a sufficiently horrible punishment?" Blackwell asks in protest.
"Surely we could have stoned them, covered them with raging fire ants, inverted the layers of their skin..." Blancwell says, counting on his fingers.
"Have a little faith in my judgment," Stopheles assures them, as he indicates the other object in the room, a large maze containing a remote-control car, which hasn't gotten very far from the entrance. An uneasy voice from one of the speakers meekly calls out a direction; the car moves a few inches forward and crashes headlong into a wall, setting off a shrill tone. The generator hums to life, and you hear the screams of a dozen hunters receiving yet another electric shock. The henchmen seem satisfied; meanwhile, in a nearby wastebasket, you notice what appears to be a rejected alternative to the maze.
Start at the closest intersection to the Marston Water Tower.
Proceed northwards, and make a right turn on a street with the last name of a character from Spider-Man.
Walk along this street until you pass a building named after someone named Virgil.
Make a left turn and walk to the next major intersection. On the way you will pass a building with a name that contains a word that anagrams to at least four common words. Let N be the number of letters in the word.
At the intersection, head west, and then take the Nth left turn.
Take the second letter of the first word of the building on your right.
Start at the corner of the Harter Complex which is farthest from where the Rebels play basketball.
Face in a direction such that there is a library immediately behind you and to the left.
Move forward until the street you're following ends, and then turn in the only direction that puts you on another street.
Follow this street forward until there is a building in front of you whose namesake sounds like he could be a cartoon pig.
Turn left, move forward, and take the middle initial of the namesake of the next complex you pass on the right.
Start at the intersection south of the Love Library.
Travel east until you reach an even-numbered north-south street.
Travel south until you reach a building on your left that contains both an L and an R in its first word. If the L comes first, turn left; if the R comes first, turn right.
At the next intersection with an even-numbered street, turn in a direction that takes you toward a building that shares its name with a sitcom character played by Craig Ferguson.
Follow the road until you reach an intersection immediately southeast of a landmark reminiscent of an M. Night Shyamalan film. Face directly away from it.
Take the first letter of the building in front of you.
Start at the southern end of The Oval, facing Memorial Court.
Turn right and follow the street forward until there are two buildings on your left named after the co-founders of a company.
Face away from these buildings and move forward, making a note of the total N of the Roman Numerals in the building names on your right.
When you reach the corner of a parking structure, turn right, and move forward until you see an landmark to your left named after a Frenchman.
Take the Nth letter of this landmark.
Start between the Smart Museum and the nearby Field House.
Travel south as until a building blocks your way, then turn right and move forward until you reach a north-south road.
Travel south on this road until you pass the bookstore on your right.
Walk around the building to your left, cut through the circle in front of you and continue east until you reach a building that shares the first word of its name with a Monopoly property.
Travel north until you see a building on your right with a street address divisible by 11.
Take the first letter of the first word of the name of that building.
Start between the Wright Laboratory and the Carnegie Building, facing the former.
Turn left and continue along the road until you pass a cottage on the right.
Take your next right turn, and follow a path to the left just before you pass a building with a cardinal direction in its name.
Take the third letter in the language spoken in the first cultural house you pass.
Start in front of the Islamic Center, facing a body of water with the same name as a well-known ballet.
Turn left, follow the road, and make your first right turn.
Follow the road and then make a right turn that will take you past a building that sounds like it should be subtitled "The Revenge of Science."
Turn left at the end of the road, and follow the road the only direction you can until you reach a T-intersection.
Face southwest and take the fourth letter of the first word of the two-word subject studied in the building in front of you.
Start on a north-south street, facing the Nittany Lion Inn.
Turn right and follow the road until you can turn onto a road with a name that is the last name of an SNL alumna.
Turn onto this road, make the first available right turn onto a major road, and then make your first available left turn onto a major road (which shares its name with an animal).
Follow the road until you reach the corner of an athletic field on the left.
Turn right and follow the road until you are standing between two buildings with names reminiscent of MIT.
Take the last letter in the first word of the name of the building on your left.
Start on a street as near as possible to Varsity Lake.
Follow the street to the nearest library.
Walk around to the classroom building on the opposite side of the library.
Travel south on the road to the right of this building until there is a parking structure on your right.
Take the first letter of the building to your left.
Start on the corner of Woodlawn Field that is farthest away from the health complex.
Follow the road north until you pass a block on your right with two halls that begin with the same letter. Make your next right turn.
Follow the road until you come to a road with a food in its name. Turn left and follow that road until it ends.
Take the fifth letter of the last name of the namesake of the building to your left.
Start on the street, facing the building where a musical called Elsewards had its world premiere in December 2007.
Follow the street to your left and then make a right turn that leads between buildings and into a field.
Continue forward until a building impedes your path.
Turn right and walk straight forward until a building impedes your path.
Turn left and walk forward until the name of the building on your right (not the building in the last direction) describes where you are standing.
Face away from that building, and take the fourth letter of the middle name of the namesake of the building in front of you.
Start on the street to the west of the building that sounds like it should be sitting in a balcony with the Waldorf Hotel.
Proceed north, and make the last left turn you can make before crossing over water.
Follow the road until you start passing fraternities on your right.
Make the first left turn you can make where the closest building is not a fraternity house.
Follow the path you're on until it ends.
Take the first letter of the type of student serviced by the building in front of you.
Start on the west side of the tower between the Joseph Smith Building and the Joseph F. Smith Building.
Face away from the tower and walk around to the other side of the building in front of you.
Follow the road around a bend as the direction in the name changes to a direction ninety degrees counterclockwise.
Continue along the road until it ends in a T-intersection.
Turn right at the intersection and follow the road until it ends.
Take the second letter of the last name of the namesake of the next-to-last building you pass on your left.