Sets can be open and manifolds can be smooth, but can a number be happy? It is not uncommon for moderately mundane English terms to find their way into mathematical vernacular, but when this happens, one at least hopes that the metaphor is fitting. In this talk we'll look at numbers with strangely elaborate properties and surprisingly hum-drum, yet seemingly arbitrary descriptors. Somewhere along the way I'll strain to make these misfits compelling by tying them to concepts in number theory, or anything else that seems interesting. Failing that, I may just give up and talk briefly about modular forms.